i know you don't miss me and you never will,
but i still want to know.
i want to know; did you ever think of me? did you ever want to walk with me? want to look me in the eyes? ever want to laugh with me? share your smile with me? share your heart with me?
because, oh, i wanted to know you. i want you to hold my hand, i wanted you to smile at me, to laugh with me, to be with me, and i was jealous. i was so jealous of those girls you looked at, the girls you smiled at, the ones you talked about, the ones that made you be more like you.
i so badly wanted to be that girl.
but i've promised myself. that i couldn't be with someone who didn't bring out the best in me. he didn't do it. he made me bitter. and nervous. and controlling. and you don't either. you make me mean, and sad, and lonely, and boring.
even though i could never be with you, could never let you hold me, i still wanted it.
i longed for it even.
but i wanted you. wanted to be with you. to know you.
but i could never tell you that.
and i never will.
please, just know, that i will miss you.
(my friend gave me a book to write poetry in a few months ago. i don't write poetry. i can't. i can't write period. but i wrote some poor ramblings.....so much for not being to heavy)
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