disassembled mind

"Once I loved, and not so long ago, with a consuming passion that [almost] killed me. I loved so hard and so well."

I want to say that after I am dead.
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I have been trying to write out what I think of this war. Because, I get into a discussion about it almost once a week, and I just need to decide what I believe, and be able to tell other people.

Obviously killing is not loving. So, I know war is wrong. But, I wonder is no-war possible? If there is no other way to remove an obstacle to peace except war, then is war said to be just? If there is an unquenchable bitterness and anger in a people, do you have the duty to exterminate them?
After a war, can you say that what follows is called peace? In my mind, peace is the absence of anger and bitterness, but is is the absence of the people who felt those feelings? So then they should be killed to get peace?!?!? (obviously this is not correct)

No one I know can kill without being able to justify the act because we all want the good or at least to be associated with the good.
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It is kind of a rule that you should behave like the majority. People make fun of imagination. I don't know how this has happened...the joke of everything different. Like... why does everybody want to be a flippin' engineer? Seriously, I am sure there are other things you would love more.

I keep thinking about living (probably because that is what I do with most of my time...you know...living), and I'm thinking that a soul has to live in order to be saved. to be free.