I've spent almost the entirety of this weekend working on a paper that has wiped away almost any intellectual pride I had. meh. I'm feeling rather defeated right now.
but...now I have to write 25 stinkin' pages about myself and how I write. After the day I've had, it may turn out a little bit negative. oh dear.
oh. and this stupid fridge next to me sounds like a rocket getting ready to launch. and all the lights keep burning out in my room.
but hey, I got to hang out with 2 pretty rockin dogs (and lovely people) for a couple hours tonight. why do animals make me so happy? so strange.
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I have a really irrational fear. Sometimes I will listen to a lecture, sit through a class, or watch a documentary and truly fear that I won't remember it and will forget how to absorb information. I think that I will forget how to learn or digest new ideas. I am seriously scared of this happening. I think that I love new ideas and learning so much that to lose that ability would truly break my heart. but why this fear?
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
Desiderata ~ OR "Things to be Desired"
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace
there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and
lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career,
however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing
fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what
virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and
disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield
you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep
peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and
broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann
and remember what peace
there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and
lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career,
however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing
fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what
virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and
disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield
you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep
peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and
broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann
Thursday, December 3, 2009
books. books. i like books.
(after typing that title...the word "book" seems so strange. Say it out loud like 20 times. do it. so weird, right? or say your name out loud to yourself. Why do words sound so weird sometimes? words...I have lots of words to say about words because I like them oh so much. my favorite part about writing is choosing the perfect words to make the reader really experience something...even though I don't always do that on this blog deal. okay, no more rambling...I'll let you read on.)
I was exploring a lovely used book store the other day. (two words I feel must always be associated with a used book store: explore and lovely) My friend and I were searching through the books of poems and I came across one by George Kitching and my friend found one that sparked her interests. We proceeded to read poems out loud to each other until we were finished.
Here's something I kind of liked:
We often hear people dispute respecting the beauty of something. One says it is beautiful, another that it is not; both are evidently sincere. How does the real difference occur ? We will turn to music. Some admire a song, others do not like it; the reason is the same in both cases. The education has been different, and the power of criticism therefore varies; one is evidently inferior in judgment to the other. Now the musician who is perfect in his art has made, as it were, his own mind beautiful; he can therefore feel, as it were, beauties that a less cultured mind cannot apprehend. So it is with art or the appreciation of true beauty. The mind that is most thoroughly cultured in art can see the beauties of a face the best; but there is a beauty of the soul, the inward mind, that only the beautiful in soul can appreciate.
Well, I didn't buy the book; it cost a bit much for me. I found the book on google if you are interested. It doesn't feel quite the same to read poetry (or anything really) from a computer screen as it does from a fragile book worn through by previous readers...oh well. The words are the same I guess...
I was exploring a lovely used book store the other day. (two words I feel must always be associated with a used book store: explore and lovely) My friend and I were searching through the books of poems and I came across one by George Kitching and my friend found one that sparked her interests. We proceeded to read poems out loud to each other until we were finished.
Here's something I kind of liked:
We often hear people dispute respecting the beauty of something. One says it is beautiful, another that it is not; both are evidently sincere. How does the real difference occur ? We will turn to music. Some admire a song, others do not like it; the reason is the same in both cases. The education has been different, and the power of criticism therefore varies; one is evidently inferior in judgment to the other. Now the musician who is perfect in his art has made, as it were, his own mind beautiful; he can therefore feel, as it were, beauties that a less cultured mind cannot apprehend. So it is with art or the appreciation of true beauty. The mind that is most thoroughly cultured in art can see the beauties of a face the best; but there is a beauty of the soul, the inward mind, that only the beautiful in soul can appreciate.
Well, I didn't buy the book; it cost a bit much for me. I found the book on google if you are interested. It doesn't feel quite the same to read poetry (or anything really) from a computer screen as it does from a fragile book worn through by previous readers...oh well. The words are the same I guess...
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
"How is it December 2nd already?" seems to be a phrase thrown around a lot today. I have seven days of school left. seven. that is madness. (then a week of finals) I am feeling kind of at home here, happy with the friendships here...I think.
Now I am fleeing to the mountains. I have been thinking that it is kind of bittersweet to be leaving my new friends. But, it is definitely more sweet than bitter. The academics here have been...mediocre so far. I really want everything I know to be challenged; I want to learn to think in a new way. I think the academics at the High Sierra campus will be more challenging for me, and I am thrilled about that. Have I written all this before? I feel like I probably have. Or maybe you are thoroughly confused. I don't know.
I think I like this campus alright. I just like fewer people and more trees better. I also like clean air better.
I am not writing well this evening, and it's annoying me quite a bit. sometimes words come easily for me, and sometimes I can barely grasp the ones I need.
Well, since I don't know what else to write... if you feel like visiting Yosemite or the Ansel Adams Wilderness, you should do so between January and May and come visit me in Bass Lake!
Now I am fleeing to the mountains. I have been thinking that it is kind of bittersweet to be leaving my new friends. But, it is definitely more sweet than bitter. The academics here have been...mediocre so far. I really want everything I know to be challenged; I want to learn to think in a new way. I think the academics at the High Sierra campus will be more challenging for me, and I am thrilled about that. Have I written all this before? I feel like I probably have. Or maybe you are thoroughly confused. I don't know.
I think I like this campus alright. I just like fewer people and more trees better. I also like clean air better.
I am not writing well this evening, and it's annoying me quite a bit. sometimes words come easily for me, and sometimes I can barely grasp the ones I need.
Well, since I don't know what else to write... if you feel like visiting Yosemite or the Ansel Adams Wilderness, you should do so between January and May and come visit me in Bass Lake!
Monday, November 30, 2009
Oh, I don't like posting links all the time...but I have spent most of the past 5 days alone, and I want to share with you a lovely blog.
http://intothehermitage.blogspot.com/
http://intothehermitage.blogspot.com/
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
till they're gone
It is really interesting to me that I don't realize how much I like people until they are gone. I am so apt to take the people I love for granted. You know that feeling you get when you miss someone, and you can feel it deep in your chest somewhere. It kind of feels like heartburn at first or maybe like you are going to gag...but then you realize it's a different part of your body that is uncomfortable. I don't know what part it is...but I can feel it. Somewhere between my throat and stomach.
I just drove for the first time on the LA freeways, and that was quite enjoyable. I dropped my friends off at the airport and then drove back (I almost wrote "drove back home", then that made me a little scared. Isn't there a quote from Garden State about when your home doesn't feel like home anymore, just a place to store your crap? I drove back to school).
I have that feeling right now where I could cry at any moment; (I love semicolons)I would just need a little something to push me, like a song or certain person. Oh, I am happy right now and excited about lots of things...just thinking about how much I like some people and how much I need to tell them that.
I just drove for the first time on the LA freeways, and that was quite enjoyable. I dropped my friends off at the airport and then drove back (I almost wrote "drove back home", then that made me a little scared. Isn't there a quote from Garden State about when your home doesn't feel like home anymore, just a place to store your crap? I drove back to school).
I have that feeling right now where I could cry at any moment; (I love semicolons)I would just need a little something to push me, like a song or certain person. Oh, I am happy right now and excited about lots of things...just thinking about how much I like some people and how much I need to tell them that.
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