another journal entry from a couple weeks ago. (I edited out some thoughts, but left everything else the same)
Love.
Why are humans on such a quest for love? We always look for love. We look everywhere, at everyone and everything. We try so hard to find love, and feel loved. We don't even take the time to notice how much love surrounds us and envelopes us.
I am looking for love from people. Even though I know that God has so much love for me, I want someone in my life who will care about me and want to know me more. Just a friend. I have so many acquaintances, and I talk to them, but we really don't have much in common. I want somebody who will tell me when I am doing something wrong, encourage me to become more like Jesus, tell me that I can't just give up at school and encourage me to keep moving forward. Someone who loves the things that I love. Someone who can teach me to love the things they love. And of course, I would do the same for them. Is this too much to ask?
I need to just go for it.
consume love completely.
let it consume me.
but, my problem is that i always try to hold it back from consuming me.
I need to let go. let it consume me.
Let myself love.
Let myself give love.
and receive love.
love. beauty. peace.
I am thinking of making this private
"If someone loves a flower of which just one example exists among all the millions and millions of stars, that's enough to make him happy when he looks at the stars. He tells himself, 'My flower's up there somewhere...' But if the sheep eats the flower, then for him it's as if, suddenly, all the stars went out. And that isn't important?'"
4 comments:
what do you mean by make it private?
I like reading your blog.
Have you ever heard the song "Make Me a Channel of Your Peace"? The chorus goes like this:
O Master, grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console
To be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love with all my soul
The point is that, yes, it is too much to ask for love from other people. Love is huge. If you ask love from other people, you're basically asking them to put yourself before them. You're looking for people who would readily put your needs above theirs. That is a massive thing to ask (and would be kind of selfish, too, if it's not reciprocated). Do not expect love from other people. When it comes, receive it gladly, but do not search for it. Love your neighbor as yourself, and as you wish to be loved, so love your neighbor. This is impossible unless you love the LORD your God with your heart, soul, mind, and strength. And we love only because He has first loved us. Those who will love you are those whom the LORD has loved, and therefore love the LORD. These are the ones who love their neighbors.
May the insufficiency of people drive you to the infinite source of love who is love Himself.
i hear you. i wish some of my relationships were stronger. but like Budi said, love is truly putting others before yourself, and that is extremely difficult to do. I am beginning to see that it reall does comes in the most intimate relationships - with God, and with spouse. I think the others in our lives do need to just be loved in the sense that we do nice things for them, appreciate them being around, love like God loves us. But we can't stress when they don't reach the LOVE we want them to.
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