winter journals

I write in my journal a lot. Several times a day. I was reading over some things I wrote this winter, and I thought I would share them. "Don't judge me [...] Don't you dare judge me."

wondering.

lost.

confused.

i want to know.

i need to know.

how to know.

i feel like i have

tried everything

but really i know i have

experienced nothing.

how do they know?

who told them?

who will tell me?

i want to know

i need to know.

where is my mind?

why can't i think?

all i feel are these tears on my skin.

all i fear is everything i don't know

but what do i know

i need to stop

my thoughts are scattered

my mind is drunk

but how do i stop

i do not know

i want to know

i need to know

As spring was arriving:

as the days are growing longer

my mind is growing stronger

longing for more

more knowledge, more.

it consumes me

the light awakes me early

energizing and invigorating my body

learning more

more about life, more.

it lavishes over me.