Hello friends,

My thoughts and therefore, my words, feel so jumbled and unorganized tonight (meaning this is going to be a wordy post). But, I need to write it out in order to clarify for myself, so here goes...

I had a bit of a revelation today. well, that's a bit dramatic, but I had a moving thought today. After going to the eye doctor to find out that my eyes are the best they have been my entire life (yes! I finally can see...phew!), I went canoeing with my family on the Fox River (the water source for the water we drink at my house in Illinois), followed by a walk to the creek with my well-missed and dearly loved dog, Spirit, and maybe the best Mediterranean dinner I've ever eaten at Naf Naf, I realized how much I just wanted to be alone. ahhhhh...time alone. While the rest of Chicago was watching the Blackhawks game, I had a cup of coffee, read my books, and THEN (this is the rather non-climactic climax...hence the upper case letters in 'then'), I watched a movie. Like I said...rather non-climactic.

"No Impact Man: The Documentary."
Just go watch the trailer or something. Oh! better, I'll post it right here!
I realized my never-ending desire to simplify my living, to leave less of a bad impact on the earth and do more to restore it and care for it in a more wholesome manner is not (or may not be) just a hippie fetish in search for a connectedness of all things. (That may be part of it...not the 'hippie fetish' part, but the 'connectedness of all things' part)

My whole life I have never excelled in one thing. I've always been mediocre at everything. School, sports, music, art, writing....even my passions have never been focused on anything in particular. So, somehow I landed at APU...don't know how or why...with a major in Global Studies and minors in Spanish and the Humanities. The problem is I have not been able to figure out what I'm passionate about exactly...and I do believe that is something one figures out eventually.

So, I watched this documentary and every few minutes tears would fill my eyes, and I'm thinking, "what the heck, this guy is just putting his garbage in a box of dirt and worms...why am I crying?" But...I don't know...it's Adventure Studies and AP Environmental Science in high school and summer camp and digging under rocks for worms and Huckleberry Finn that affected my thoughts. It's things like people putting care into their actions to see not only how they affect this beautiful planet we are a part of and commune with, but also how these actions affect every other human on this planet now and the future. It seems silly to me that what should be such a basic part of every life is a "passion" or mine.

My thoughts feel completely jumbled, and when I use a lot of ellipses, I know I am not writing clearly. I'm sorry that some label people like the no impact man a "hippie" or a "radical" in a negative way. And I know my opinion bears little weight and should probably continue to bear little weight, but I think these so-called "radicals" and "hippies" bring the world life, joy, and passion and I like them a bunch and perhaps will have such people as dear friends throughout my life.

Good night, you princes of Maine, you Kings of New England!