I am frustrated with circumstances and people right now. I am sad that I have no plans for the summer. I feel like I have no friends. It's not that people don't care about me...I want someone who will just hang out with me because they like to be with me. I want someone who I can tell these things to rather than this fucking computer. I want someone to dance with and make music with and laugh with. I want someone to drink tea with. I want someone who would miss me if I left.

I am so sick of this. of this frustration. of conversations with myself. of laughing at jokes that only I understand. of dancing alone. of feeling completely alone.

am I alone in feeling this way too? I also feel like I am the only person who feels alone?

Why do i feel more alone when I am around people then when I am by myself? why do I want to be around people but then get bored with them and want to be alone because at least i don't get bored alone? is that not horrible?

there is no way i am pressing "publish post" because then everyone will know. that would make me transparent which is what we are all avoiding right? that's why we only put the good things about us on our facebook pages...the things we want people to know about us. About me: I almost always feel lonely. Interests: talking a lot so that no one else ever gets a chance, and then feeling really crappy about talking a lot because no one else ever got a chance...and complaining. Activities: self deprecation.

where is this post going? no where. absolutely no where.
I could have just said: I am frustrated.
I could have been vague.
I could have avoided writing "fuck".
but i didn't. in fact, i have now written it twice. maybe if i changed the spelling to "fcuk" or something, no one would care. that's not true.

I have had a bad attitude for about a month now. it's probably about time to stop that...