skittering through my psyche

I feel like I want to write something, I just never know what to write. I have been dreaming a lot lately. And day dreaming even more. Last night I remember having a dream about going to every person I cared about and giving them a hug. It was so weird. Then all day today, I saw people I haven't seen in a while that I have been missing...and my dream seemed to actually happen. It was goooood.
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Today was just good. lovely actually. Saturday night I spent a few hours reading some psalms and praying and I feel like that really changed my Sunday drastically. When I got back from California, I found some music to play for the service on Sunday, and called my piano teacher to see if she could accompany me. So all day Saturday we practiced, and I was feeling kind of bad about it because it wasn't enough practice really. But, in the service today...it was so great. I have learned to love worshipping through playing...so much more than singing in church. I can be so much more passionate, and ...I dunno....it is difficult to explain. Anyway, the song went sooo well, and it felt great, and weird too. I was so into the song and worshipping that I completely forgot about the people watching. So when the song was over, I was kind of stunned by the fact that other people just watched me worship...and it was just very strange. not really awkward or bad, just strange. kind of good though.

Today was just one of those wonderful days. I was driving a few times today...and it was so good to have the windows open, and my hair blowing all over the place and crazy, and the music on, and singing pretty loud sometimes. I always laugh at myself...because I think about what people are thinking in other cars about me. I love driving near a person who is enjoying themselves, and clearly loving life. It makes me laugh.

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When people get comfortable with each other, they seem to be blunt and horribly honest sometimes. I like honesty, and I can be quite blunt (most of the time, actually), but people say things that are mean and horrible. And the other day, two people that love each other pissed me off because they had been so mean to each other for a couple days. And, it was over petty things that had no significance...and I couldn't figure out why they wouldn't just say one nice thing. So I just said something like "why are you being mean to one another?" or something like that. They both just froze and stopped. We like to say we have "arguments" or "heated discussions" or "fights" but no one says things like "we were being really mean to each other". It's such a simple thing...but a lot of the people around me do not act nice.