Lately, I have spent a lot of time alone, and it's been nice to think. These times when I don't really have many close friends are when I determine my beliefs and goals the best, I think.
After seeing Into the Wild , and then rewatching four more times, I haven't stopped thinking about what happiness is. Also, I am reading Walden again, and my beliefs are just changing so much. I am much more easily disturbed by crap now, and it frustrates me when other people make decisions that I may have made before.

And religion..
Prejudice and pride seem to be a huge problem that come with religious tradition and moral teaching. I think that ideals are something common to all humans and that values don't have to be linked to religion. we live on the same planet, in the same societies, and there is just a knowledge enough to treat other people with a certain respect. And,while everyone may believe something different, no one has the right to say they are superior over another morally. Also, while I think that discussion and even debate over is good, it seems screwed up when groups push (Forcefully) their beliefs on people who don't want to hear it.

And Christianity...
I feel is a faith rooted in belief, ACTION, and LOVE. It is an obsession with Christ. An obsession with his ideals of peacemaking, and caring, and hope, and -of course- love. It is NOT complacency, or ignorance, materialism, selfishness, or indifference. Why are Christians fighting in wars? Buying Hummers? No wonder deism is so popular. No wonder so many people are questioning, and confused. Why does the church always speak about life after death? I want life now. That is why Jesus died, right? LIFE (loving god, others, following Jesus, new experiences) today is beautiful, is what Jesus offers, but its not what the church is saying.
Following Jesus has been transformed to mean VBS, and not swearing, and voting republican, and agreeing with Bush. But, it's about beeing the church--the literal hands and feet of God.

And people....
people are just so mean to each other. I don't even understand why there is so much judgement and prejudice. People have made their lives so much about themselves that they aren't really living. If happiness is about relationships and experiences with other people, you could never be happy, never experience living with selfish desires. So many of the people around me are going to miss out on so much. But, the don't want change, and don't care about what will happen. I just wish there was a community of people that have similar dreams as me. People keep telling me I can't change the world, they laugh, they think it's a joke. But, I can't imagine how else I could live my life.

I have been changing and learning alone for a while now. I want, and kind of need,other people who think to talk to. Who challenge me more than I am able to challenge myself. Who have aspirations in their lives...similar to mine. To me...that's what the church should be. it's not though.