in love with the trees

I can't explain how I feel right now (as usual).

It's like I look outside, and I see the leaves falling and the season changing, and I go on walks, and I am making incredible memories, and learning great new things, and I am getting to know people and I feel happy.

But then I have to make so many difficult decisions, no matter how minuscule they may seem, and I feel like I am getting old, and that scares me.
It scares me that I don't know what I am feeling. I am afraid of being numb.
There are so many things I want to do so bad. Paint, and write, and make music, and play music, and meet new people, and make some memories, and love people and learn and change (even though I am scared).

But, I feel like time is going too fast, and I just want to hold it back and make it wait for me.

p.s. The Format makes me so happy.