Lately I haven't been in the blogging mood. Nor have I been in the 'sharing my life with other people' mood.

Solitude is so comfortable for me, but nothing great ever happens when I am comfortable. It looks kind of like this:

(oh this reminds....Man on Wire is phenomenal)
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Somedays my dreams seem so small, yet somedays they seem unattainable. I guess it is good to have both kinds.

Yesterday at school, I became (once again) incredibly aware of the heart-breaking state of our society. I walked into first period and heard the girl sitting behind me talking to her group of friends. She said that there is a Sociology trip where they can choose to go somewhere, but no one will go because they have to go through a dangerous neighborhood to get there. Sociology class in high school is about trying to get people to realize that all people are humans and to think about issues a little bit. The girl continued to rant about how ridiculous the trip is and how unsafe it would be for them to try to risk her life. That made me sad.

Later, we were learning about the greatest risks to our society and diseases that have caused the most deaths. Jokes were made about AIDS. The numbers on the board said that about 13 million people die every year from diseases that could be prevented.....and my fellow classmates were cracking jokes. Then a group of us were studying for the test, and one kid says he'll draw a picture of AIDS. I didn't know what that meant, but I was kind of annoyed with him, so I didn't ask. A couple minutes later, there was a picture of a person shooting someone else and the blood for the person shot splattered on someone else who then contracted HIV.

How had man become so desensitized to such large numbers of people being killed?
Why are we so okay with violence?
What makes you better than anyone else?
Why does man feel fear rather than sadness when they see poverty?
Why do we not care for people more?

(That was a downer. there are good things happening too. the trees haven't stopped growing. God is still good.)

I am beginning to realize that if you connect with someone creatively and spiritually, it would be a wise move to try to grow that relationship because those relationships are not easy to find.

I have become even more solitary over the past couple months than usual. Although I wish that were not the case, that seems to be my inevitable nature because it keeps happening time and time again. This has been a great time of learning, reading, and making music for me, but I miss having any deep relationship(s).
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Now is so powerful. Now is more powerful than any other time. You can't change the past, you don't know what the future is, but you know what now is and you can do anything you want.