"We find ourselves faced with the important question how, and indeed why music should be interpreted in words at al....As long as my experience can be summed up in words, I write no music about it; my need to express myself musically-symphonically-begins at the point where the dark feeling hold sway, at the door which leads into the "other world"-the world in which things are no longer seperated by space and time."
Gustav Mahler

The word on the street is that every prophecy in the bible has been fulfilled, and that means that Jesus is coming back soon (I don't know what soon means, its just the word on the street). I don't know if this is truth, but it has made me think a bit.
First, it makes me really excited to be going home. Second, it gives me a sense of urgency and makes me think about all the useless things I am spending my life on. Third, it makes me sad that this world has become so distant from its creator. Fourth, I don't know why I keep numbering my thoughts. Fifth, there is no number five. Sixth, okay sorry, I'll stop.

So, I have no idea what "soon" means, and I honestly just don't care. I know that Jesus will come back sometime. Sometime is all I need to know.

Do any of you know a lot about the prophecies in the bible? Do you think they have all been fulfilled? Just wondering...

i'm not sure why i wrote this. i like music?

I am aware that this generation does not think very highly of classical music, and that is quite a shame...because a lot of it is incredible.

I have recently learned to love Mahler's second symphony. The first 4 movements, which take an hour and half to play, are an emotional roller coaster. Mahler is contemplating the meaning of his life and what happens at death. All this time, it seems like so much confusion. Then....oh ooh my...then, comes the fifth movement (which is a half hour long!) which starts with a huge blast of noise that can immediately be identified as judgement day. It builds up to the gates of hell bursting open...but then, a calm realization. some amount of hope is found. and this hope grows and grows until it seems like Mahler decided that you must die in order to live. There is a vocal solo near the end. I love the lyrics.

(translated from German)
Rise again, yes, rise again,
Will you My dust,
After a brief rest!
Immortal life! Immortal life
Will He who called you, give you.
To bloom again were you created!
The Lord of the harvest goes
And gathers in, like sheaves,
Us together, who die.
O believe, my heart, O believe:
Nothing to you is lost!
Yours is, yes yours, is what you desired
Yours, what you have loved
What you have fought for!
O believe,
You were not born for nothing!
Have not for nothing, lived, suffered!
What was created
Must perish,
What perished, rise again!
Cease from trembling!
Prepare yourself to live!
O Pain, You piercer of all things,
From you, I have been wrested!
O Death, You masterer of all things,
Now, are you conquered!
With wings which I have won for myself,
In love’s fierce striving,
I shall soar upwards
To the light which no eye has penetrated!
Its wing that I won is expanded,
and I fly up.

Die shall I in order to live.
Rise again, yes, rise again,
Will you, my heart, in an instant!
That for which you suffered,
To God will it lead you!

I get a free world map from Doctors Without Borders every month.

I have one on the wall in my bedroom. I have circled every place on the map where I have friends. I have also circled regions of major conflict (MYANMAR (Burma), Darfur, Iraq, Chile...etc). I marked every place where I hope to go someday.

I use this map and the "World Events" section of the newspaper to pray. On the top of the map, I wrote "Pray for Darfur Today" with a giant arrow running straight through Europe and the Sahara desert, pointing to Darfur. I hurt emotionally for them, but there is also a physical pain in my chest when I pray for the people there.

Lately, a lot of people at school have been getting information out about this genocide, and have been trying to raise money too. It frustrates me that so many Americans think that money can really change things so much. What are the people in Darfur going to do with money? What they need is their freedom, a home, a reason not to be frightened for their lives constantly, a release from the pain, some relief from the sand storms caused by our unsustainable environmental impact. Not money. They don't need distant pity. they need true care. a love that can be felt.

I can't stop reading Jane Austen books!

I wish she would have written more

Probably the most influential class I have taken yet is ending. I have been in an adventure education class for 2 semesters. The first semester, I learned to have a bit more confidence in myself. I learned that it is okay to be who I am, and that it is never okay to try to be anything else. After that semester, I was asked to take it again as the student leader. This semester, I have learned that it is good to laugh when I think something is funny and it is good to cry when something is sad. I have learned that first impressions mean nothing. You can learn to love anyone. I love when a group of people get so close, they feel like family. Watching shooting stars together, singing together, dealing with really difficult things, not showering for 4 days...together, laughing at things that only we will ever understand.
The outdoors will never go away, and I will backpack and rock climb for the rest of my life, but that close family feeling will definitely be missed.